03/30/2008
I have felt the hand of God on me from a young child. I would have visions when I was in second grade. I did not understand what was happening at that young age. Looking back on it now. It was God preparing me, to walk in this path that He has made for me. I would see these things as movie screens right before my eyes in full color. In fact I co-pastor a church later in life that I had seen at that age.
I came to the lord one night when the Father drew me by His Spirit. I got down on my knees and asked the Lord to forgive me of my sins. I asked Him to come into my heart and make me brand new. I received Him that night by faith thru grace. You know what, I heard this flow of water like a running stream. I was not near any water so this was by Jesus. He baptized me with the Holy Ghost and from that night forth I became a new creature in Christ Jesus. I started learning of Him. I hungered and thirst for his word, it seem the more I took in the more I wanted. He filled me with a love like I had never known on this earth. It was a heavenly love that He put in my heart for my brothers and sisters in the family of God. A love for the Lost that needed Jesus to make them whole.
Some of the rest of this testimony makes me ashamed but I am going to tell it all so that ministers that have failed, will see that they will get up again. After the Lord saved me--my husband came to Him also, about a month later. I was twenty and he was twenty-eight. We found a home church and went regularly, as We grew in strength and knowledge of Him, we felt the need to spread the gospel. About a year and a half later we started stepping out and obeying him in our ministries. He was called to be a pastor and teacher I was co-pastor with him but my ministry is a prophetess of the Lord. Over the span of ten years we co-pastor three churches and evangelized in churches, tents, and rented any space that could hold enough people that we could have revivals. We had a radio broadcast and a small gospel magazine.
We saw God do many great moves of God where ever he sent us. We saw people healed, delivered, set free by the power of the Holy Ghost. Some of our meetings where standing room only. People where hungry for God and a great move among the young people. What a wonderful God we served. This I am happy that He chose to move in this way through our vessels.
What I am ashamed of is that--when we pulled from one which was our pastor at the time. Because we felt to work from this church to evangelize for a time and season. We where there for about 3-4 years. We moved away a good distance and looked for a home church to be a part of. We could not find one that stood for the full doctrine of Christ. So we stay home and some years later we grew slowly cold in God. We slowly lost our dedications. Not planning for this. Got caught up in every day life running kids and friends for school. We would put off doing the daily things of prayer and reading and studying the word of God. It got push back more and more. Not all at once but over a period of two or three years. Until we where not watchful and where not strong enough to keep the enemy from braking in and steal what we had . This is the reason it is so important to seek the Lord for the dedication, He has set for you. Enter into it and maintain your walk with the Lord. To go from strength to strength from glory to glory. It is so important that you do not forsake the assembly yourselves together. When you gather with other saints of God it will give you strength.
When you are out of the plan of God these things happen. To make a long story short the Lord never gave up on me. I had a vision when I was going strong in the ministry. [this is a vision I had] I was preaching in this church and after the the sermon I was ask to leave the church. They had rejected the gospel. I remember walking down the front path way until I came to the edge of the woods. I went to my knees and quietly cry as I prayed. In the vision I saw Jesus walking up behind me in a purple robe. He lay his hand on my right shoulder and spoke these words. " I will never leave you or forsake you. " I know many of you will not believe this but I could feel the imprint of his hand on my shoulder and his words echoing in my ears. This is what brought me thru.
I always felt that the Lord would help me get back to Him. This is not as easy as it seems. I was carrying around big guilt on my shoulders. First of all, I could not forgive myself for failing Jesus and the fact that I failed his people as well. The devil used this against me for many years. The Lord would deal with me but I could not get pass this. Even in my heart I was crying God please do not leave me in this. Then I felt in my heart to change my prayer. I ask the Lord to forgive me of all my failings and sins. I ask him to help me to forgive myself!! I told God, that if I never stood before his people again that was O. K. I was just happy to be rebirth in the kingdom of God to sweep the floor or whatever I needed to do. I just needed his mercy. He spoke to me after he reinstated me, that the gifts and callings that he puts in us, are without repentance. So I have been consecrating my life before him to be filled with his word and finding the path that he has laid out before me. He totally restored me in Oct. 2004 He showed me a vision [July 2005]of me running with a suitcase overflowing with this gospel. I wanted to be sure that I was rooted in the lord and I knew I had to prepare myself before I could go. Just because I preach for ten years I could not go on that. I had to get what he wants for me now. Do not give the devil this power any longer! Ask God to forgive you and for him to help you to forgive your self. Then let God help you back into his plan for you. No, everyone will not receive you. That once receive you. Do not let this stop you, there will be many that will that are hungry for Him. Jesus left the 99 and went after that one lost sheep. What a wonderful Lord we serve. The prodigal son when he return home after spending all his inheritance, the father prepare the fatted calf for him and welcome him home with open arms. The others got jealous and wonder why a fatted calf had not been prepare for them. "Haven't we been faithful all this time": they said. He told them: "your brother has been lost and found his way back home and they should rejoice in this". He also told them: " isn't everything I own, is it not yours for the taking. All this is yours and has always been." See, everyone will not receive you. Do not let this discourage you. God's true sheep will rejoice that you came home. You know a whole host of Angels rejoice every time a lost sheep returns home. Also every time a new convert comes to Jesus.
I made up my mind with the help of Jesus that I will do whatever he wants me too. I am so thankful he left the 99 and came for this one lone sheep that so desperately needed him. His mercy is so enduring and loving and endureth forever. It has been over a year since I have been in this time of seeking the Lord. Open doors are already coming in. When the Lord leads I will step into them. I feel that the Lord will release me some where around the spring of 2006. What a great year for the outpouring of the Holy Ghost, all over the world. I praise my Almighty God and Father for the mercy we have thru Jesus the only begotten Son of the Father. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour. I love him so very much.